In closing, here is a picture of the newest addition to our family, Mona the Mini-Pug!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Extraction
In less than 12 hours I will have undergone my first sedation and, should all go well, be recovering from a quadruple wisdom tooth extraction. I've been a fairly healthy person, so I've never had surgery or needed to take pain medication stronger than prescription strength ibuprofen. I'm a little worried. But, we have stocked up on ice cream, soup, and popsicles; setup a tv in the bedroom; and washed all of my pajamas and comfy clothes. My oral surgeon helpfully pointed out that since I'm "not 16 anymore" my body will take longer to recover, but here's hoping all goes well!
In closing, here is a picture of the newest addition to our family, Mona the Mini-Pug!
In closing, here is a picture of the newest addition to our family, Mona the Mini-Pug!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Blog Series: 30 Things I've Already Done, Experienced, or Otherwise Accomplished
A mistake I made while composing my 30 before 30 list was looking at other randomly selected 30 Before 30 lists I found on the internet. I was going through a bit of block halfway, and thought that reviewing the lists others have created would give me "inspiration". Instead, I managed to come away feeling unmotivated, unaccomplished, and old.
Some people's lists were clearly written in their early 20s, giving them nearly a decade to complete a highly ambitious list, such as managing to travel to every continent while earning advanced degrees and becoming successful in their field. I glanced at my list (and the past few years of my life) and could feel self-doubt and disappointment creeping up.
I had already been feeling like I wasn't yet a "real adult". I still ate dinner on the couch more often than at the table, because the table was too full of other stuff. My mattress had springs poking out and was currently residing on the bedroom floor, not a bedframe in sight. Real adults organized their mail, had regularly scheduled housecleanings and wouldn't be embarrassed if someone stopped over unexpectedly; real adults didn't have their mattresses on the floor.
The remedy, I decided, was to make a list of 30 things I've already done, experienced, or otherwise accomplished. 30 things I'm proud of, even if I accomplish nothing on the list I was working on. 30 things I can say I achieved before 28 1/2 (totally a real goalpost, you guys. Trust me).
So, here they are. Well, some of them. I'm going to be adding them slowly, discussing why each and every one of these items are things I'm proud to have accomplished. The order isn't leading up to the most important or anything, I just kind of organized it in a way that made sense to me.
Some people's lists were clearly written in their early 20s, giving them nearly a decade to complete a highly ambitious list, such as managing to travel to every continent while earning advanced degrees and becoming successful in their field. I glanced at my list (and the past few years of my life) and could feel self-doubt and disappointment creeping up.
I had already been feeling like I wasn't yet a "real adult". I still ate dinner on the couch more often than at the table, because the table was too full of other stuff. My mattress had springs poking out and was currently residing on the bedroom floor, not a bedframe in sight. Real adults organized their mail, had regularly scheduled housecleanings and wouldn't be embarrassed if someone stopped over unexpectedly; real adults didn't have their mattresses on the floor.
The remedy, I decided, was to make a list of 30 things I've already done, experienced, or otherwise accomplished. 30 things I'm proud of, even if I accomplish nothing on the list I was working on. 30 things I can say I achieved before 28 1/2 (totally a real goalpost, you guys. Trust me).
So, here they are. Well, some of them. I'm going to be adding them slowly, discussing why each and every one of these items are things I'm proud to have accomplished. The order isn't leading up to the most important or anything, I just kind of organized it in a way that made sense to me.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Redefining Goals
The end date for my 101 list has passed, and I didn't end up reaching 50 completed like I previously posted about. Regardless, I am still proud of myself for making the list; if nothing else it serves as a snapshot of what my goals were nearly 3 years ago. I've come a long way since then, even if it's not in all of the same directions I predicted.
Because I love making lists (and, let's be honest, expecting a lot of myself) I have made a new list of goals: the traditional 30 Before 30 List! Last week on Facebook I asked friends what they thought I should put on my list, and the results were entertaining. Below (and in the sidebar) is my finalized list. Some of the items are things that I've already done (museums) but that I want to do again before turning 30. I have 601 days (1 year, 7 months, and 21 days) to complete this list!
1. Maintain (or improve!) current GPA (3.7)
2. Start working in a library
3. Travel to the Pacific Northwest
4. See the Grand Canyon
5. Have trip to Czech Republic planned & budgeted
6. Go to a Natural History Museum
7. Go to an Art Museum
8. Take a train ride
9. Run a 5k
10. Have a more consistent yoga practice: 2x/wk for 6 months
11. Increase yoga skills (graduate from intro class)
12. Do 100 push-ups (even if they are lady push-ups)
13. Complete a 3 day cleanse (no processed food or animal products)
14. Either get a new tattoo, or have birds touched up
15. Continue to refine budgeting system
16. Take a photo in a photo booth
17. Watch 10 Hitchcock movies I haven't seen
18. Knit a garment
19. Begin regular housecleaning schedule: establish routine for everyday stuff and set a schedule for weekly/monthly
20. Buy a reusable mentrual product
21. Make bread from scratch
22. Take a gun safety class
23. Stop biting my nails
24. Buy a piece of art
25. Try freezer cooking
26. Go through all clothing 2x/year, donate clothes I don't wear to Goodwill
27. Create a better system for routinely going through non-clothing items, de-clutter and donate household items on a regular schedule
28. Eat at the dinner table (instead of the couch) more often
29. Buy a new mattress and bed frame
30. Volunteer
Because I love making lists (and, let's be honest, expecting a lot of myself) I have made a new list of goals: the traditional 30 Before 30 List! Last week on Facebook I asked friends what they thought I should put on my list, and the results were entertaining. Below (and in the sidebar) is my finalized list. Some of the items are things that I've already done (museums) but that I want to do again before turning 30. I have 601 days (1 year, 7 months, and 21 days) to complete this list!
1. Maintain (or improve!) current GPA (3.7)
2. Start working in a library
3. Travel to the Pacific Northwest
4. See the Grand Canyon
5. Have trip to Czech Republic planned & budgeted
6. Go to a Natural History Museum
7. Go to an Art Museum
8. Take a train ride
9. Run a 5k
10. Have a more consistent yoga practice: 2x/wk for 6 months
11. Increase yoga skills (graduate from intro class)
12. Do 100 push-ups (even if they are lady push-ups)
13. Complete a 3 day cleanse (no processed food or animal products)
14. Either get a new tattoo, or have birds touched up
15. Continue to refine budgeting system
16. Take a photo in a photo booth
17. Watch 10 Hitchcock movies I haven't seen
18. Knit a garment
19. Begin regular housecleaning schedule: establish routine for everyday stuff and set a schedule for weekly/monthly
20. Buy a reusable mentrual product
21. Make bread from scratch
22. Take a gun safety class
23. Stop biting my nails
24. Buy a piece of art
25. Try freezer cooking
26. Go through all clothing 2x/year, donate clothes I don't wear to Goodwill
27. Create a better system for routinely going through non-clothing items, de-clutter and donate household items on a regular schedule
28. Eat at the dinner table (instead of the couch) more often
29. Buy a new mattress and bed frame
30. Volunteer
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Connecticut in Pictures
I've been here for a few weeks now, and things have settled in. Routine has been established. Wake up, do meds. Go to radiation, or chemo, or to see one of her two oncologists, or the nutritionist. More meds. Make dinner. See the sister. And so on.
I could write more about the details of my days, but instead, I thought I would just upload some pretty photos.
These are just a few selections from what I've taken in the past 3 weeks. Things not represented include hair dying with Liz, lots of time spent with Guinevere, and countless hours in front of the tv.
Mom, coloring at chemo and David, prior to leaving for Tucson. (additional photos after the cut)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Arrival
It's almost 9 pm (Eastern time) and I've now been in Connecticut for a few hours. David is upstairs, passed out in bed, and Mom went up even before David to lie down. Dad and I are currently watching Ancient Aliens (which he's never seen before) and I busted out the laptop.
I'm happy to be here, but I don't think it's fully hit me, the reality of the situation, the fact I will be here for six weeks and side effects and treatment and everything else.
Liz (my sister), Paul-John (her husband), and Guinevere (best niece in the world) were here when we arrived and we enjoyed dinner together, although Mom wasn't able to eat much. We did, however, have the opportunity to mock her "nausea decision making tree" because literally every option points to "call your doctor" and at least two tell you to look for the suggestions on another pamphlet, which seems to defeat the purpose.
Christopher arrived later on in the evening and we were able to chat for a bit. It's a good thing I bought new shoes prior to arriving because I found out he can't give me his discount at the shoe store where he is an assistant manager.
I woke up at 4 am (Mountain time) and I'm trying to stay up until 9 or 10 so that I already begin adjusting to the new time zone. Mom's treatment is before 9am every day, so I want to be as awake as possible which is never easy for me in the mornings. Dad is now watching the Red Sox and I'm wondering how much longer I can stay awake before joining David. I'm oddly alert at the moment but know that the minute I get into bed I am going to be out like a light. (Apparently being at my parents I just want to use old people phrases like no other, I have already edited out like three other ones).
Tomorrow we are taking my Grandfather to dinner for his 75th birthday/Father's Day, and then Monday it is radiation and chemo all in one day. Whether I'm ready for it or not, it's here.
I'm happy to be here, but I don't think it's fully hit me, the reality of the situation, the fact I will be here for six weeks and side effects and treatment and everything else.
Liz (my sister), Paul-John (her husband), and Guinevere (best niece in the world) were here when we arrived and we enjoyed dinner together, although Mom wasn't able to eat much. We did, however, have the opportunity to mock her "nausea decision making tree" because literally every option points to "call your doctor" and at least two tell you to look for the suggestions on another pamphlet, which seems to defeat the purpose.
Christopher arrived later on in the evening and we were able to chat for a bit. It's a good thing I bought new shoes prior to arriving because I found out he can't give me his discount at the shoe store where he is an assistant manager.
I woke up at 4 am (Mountain time) and I'm trying to stay up until 9 or 10 so that I already begin adjusting to the new time zone. Mom's treatment is before 9am every day, so I want to be as awake as possible which is never easy for me in the mornings. Dad is now watching the Red Sox and I'm wondering how much longer I can stay awake before joining David. I'm oddly alert at the moment but know that the minute I get into bed I am going to be out like a light. (Apparently being at my parents I just want to use old people phrases like no other, I have already edited out like three other ones).
Tomorrow we are taking my Grandfather to dinner for his 75th birthday/Father's Day, and then Monday it is radiation and chemo all in one day. Whether I'm ready for it or not, it's here.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
101 Things
After discussing the possible upcoming changes to my blog in my last post (the largest one being ACTUALLY POSTING), I realized it had been awhile since I had checked in on my 101 list. I found where I had posted my end date....and it's in less than two months! July 15, to be exact. My next move was to go and count all the ones I had accomplished. After updating my list, it came to a total of....36. Hmmmm. Not sure I like that, it's just barely over a third completed! I reviewed the rest of my list, and mentally eliminated any that would be unattainable, time-wise (write in a sleep journal every month for a year? oops!). Of the 65 I had left, that eliminated a nice round 15, leaving me with 50 left. That's right, as of tomorrow (since today is nearly done), I have 45 days left and 50 possible tasks.
I don't plan on trying to do all 50 in that amount of time, despite my penchant for aking on too much stuff at one time. However....if I could possible bump up my 36 to 50? That would be pretty cool. That only leaves me with 14 more to complete. Quit smoking 6 months? 5 months in, so I should be able to cross that off my list pretty soon. Make copies of important records? Watch the sun rise and set in the same day? Definitely do-able. Watch all Hitchcock movies I haven't seen? Maybe not.
Regardless of the number I have done, it's been an interesting challenge and one I'm thankful I tried. Certainly, some were much more difficult than others, though that doesn't seem to help in terms of which ones have been finished. Applying and getting into grad school, for example, would probably be the most challenging item on there and yet it is one I've been able to cross off. If anything, this at least helped me narrow down goals from ones I was really invested in versus ones that sounded fun. I do enjoy the idea of keeping a list, so perhaps once July 15 rolls around I'll figure out a new, shorter list.
I don't plan on trying to do all 50 in that amount of time, despite my penchant for aking on too much stuff at one time. However....if I could possible bump up my 36 to 50? That would be pretty cool. That only leaves me with 14 more to complete. Quit smoking 6 months? 5 months in, so I should be able to cross that off my list pretty soon. Make copies of important records? Watch the sun rise and set in the same day? Definitely do-able. Watch all Hitchcock movies I haven't seen? Maybe not.
Regardless of the number I have done, it's been an interesting challenge and one I'm thankful I tried. Certainly, some were much more difficult than others, though that doesn't seem to help in terms of which ones have been finished. Applying and getting into grad school, for example, would probably be the most challenging item on there and yet it is one I've been able to cross off. If anything, this at least helped me narrow down goals from ones I was really invested in versus ones that sounded fun. I do enjoy the idea of keeping a list, so perhaps once July 15 rolls around I'll figure out a new, shorter list.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Coping Skills
Originally I wasn't sure that I would write this. I wasn't sure I'd be able to, first of all, and I wasn't sure if it was my story to tell. But, it's been floating around my head and I talked to the person whose story it is, so now I'm getting it all down on virtual paper.
In mid-April, my mom was diagnosed with Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma in hersalivary gland larynx. Earlier, she had been having some symptoms and her voice had changed, and her Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor told her that one of her vocal chords wasn't moving. After further testing, she was diagnosed with ACC. And then....nothing. Or, so it seemed from 2,500 miles away. In reality, she was scheduling appointments, meeting with an oncologist, a radiologist, being tested on her ability to swallow, and so on. However, it took almost exactly a month before she and her doctors decided on treatment.
If there is any type of "theme" to my year so far, I would have to say "coping skills" pretty much sums it up. The beginning of the year when I was stressed out about grad school? I was so overwhelmed then, but it seems so small in comparison to that month waiting for answers. Zero concentration, crying at the drop of a hat, blurting it out inappropriately via Facebook messenger to several friends ("Hey, what's new?" "Oh, not much, my mom has cancer" "Oh...." AWKWARD). I may have even suggested to the hubby that we start trying to have a baby (even though we've talked extensively about not doing this, at least, not now, and not biologically if we ever do have kids - adoption all the way!) because clearly the answer to being stressed out is ADD CHILDREN.
Next week, she begins radiation. 5x/wk, for 7 weeks. June 16th, David and I are flying to CT. David is staying for one week, and I am staying for about six (or so). And, like the librarian student that I am, I have prepared....
In mid-April, my mom was diagnosed with Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma in her
If there is any type of "theme" to my year so far, I would have to say "coping skills" pretty much sums it up. The beginning of the year when I was stressed out about grad school? I was so overwhelmed then, but it seems so small in comparison to that month waiting for answers. Zero concentration, crying at the drop of a hat, blurting it out inappropriately via Facebook messenger to several friends ("Hey, what's new?" "Oh, not much, my mom has cancer" "Oh...." AWKWARD). I may have even suggested to the hubby that we start trying to have a baby (even though we've talked extensively about not doing this, at least, not now, and not biologically if we ever do have kids - adoption all the way!) because clearly the answer to being stressed out is ADD CHILDREN.
Next week, she begins radiation. 5x/wk, for 7 weeks. June 16th, David and I are flying to CT. David is staying for one week, and I am staying for about six (or so). And, like the librarian student that I am, I have prepared....
There's one more book that I want to reserve (The "I-Can't-Chew Cookbook", basically the best name ever), but even before we knew Mom would definitely be having radiation, I threw myself into researching food. I knew if I was going back to help out, I would be in charge of food, and it was something practical, hell it was something, tangible, I could do from across the country.
I also ordered a ridiculous number of used books from Amazon to keep myself occupied. Check it:
(Morning Michelle with books!)
(Extra parenthetical remarks! Someone looks pretty good for this being written pre-coffee)
So, the past few months have been rough, and I know the next few months will likely be even rougher. It's been a decade since I've lived with my parents. (This excludes the month my Dad stayed with us in Tucson; that however was our place and he was our guest. This time I'm the guest). But, I'm hanging in there. I have a wonderfully supportive partner (seriously, he's the best). I have wonderfully supportive friends. (I've realized that I know more people who have had a parent with cancer or other serious medical condition than not.) I was able to complete my first semester of graduate school - and did pretty fucking well if I do say so myself. I haven't started smoking again (this might be my most proudest accomplishment because ohhhh have I really wanted to).
I'm thinking with the extra free time I'll be having not working full time or taking classes this summer, I'll be able to blog more regularly. So, this might become a cancer-cookbook blog, or a Michelle-continues-to-be-constantly-stressed blog, or something else.
This weekend we are celebrating a friend's wedding. My goal for the next few days is simply to do just that. Not to split my attention between here and Connecticut, but to really appreciate things going on here until I fly home.
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